Quote:
Originally Posted by StarLight25
I have been working with my male therapist about 9 months now. In the beginning of therapy there was zero touch- not even a handshake. I didn't have any expectation of what therapy would be like or anything to compare it to so I figured that was the norm.
Over the last 2 months, T has slowly been adding in touch. First it started with a pat on the back or a quick back rub as I was exiting his office. Then it has progressed to him asking me for a hug after every single session (twice a week). These were quick side hugs with one arm. I have never asked for a hug.
On Monday upon entering his office, 10 minutes into the session he asked if he could massage my shoulder because I seemed tense. I was kind of taken back but said ok. He got up from his chair and sat next to me and rubbed my shoulder for about 20-30 seconds and encouraged me to relax.
Today after a particularly intense session recounting specifics of CSA he asked if he could give me a "real hug". I said sure and we embraced for a minute straight.
Is this appropriate?  I don't have any romantic feelings towards him, and generally feel safe, but I'm wondering about the increase in physical touch and if it's ethical. I don't really feel uncomfortable, but if it went any further I would. I don't want anything to ruin the rapport I have with him.
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my female t has done this kind of thing before with me. our hugs are always long, and she has massaged my feet and scalp before. weird to massage my feet but not uncomfortable. my scalp was bc i had a headache for days and days and i started to cry bc of it so she said she knew a tension release thing to help it (involved poking my pressure points in my shoulders, massaging my scalp and pulling my hair a bit) oddly enough it worked and i was never so grateful. its only a problem if you are uncomfortable. if youre not, its fine.