I guess my way of coping is avoiding negative situations, I've taken that to the extreme so I'm not a success story but I know my will to live is stronger than my will to die. I don't want to end it here even though I haven't had hope for a long time. I guess other people have to actually deal with reality more than I do so its harder for them to cope which leads to them ending it all.

Along with keep moving forward sometimes you can't do that, so you kind of have to take your mind off of the expectation to greatly succeed, that might be unpopular advice, but that is the only reason I haven't been in a awful psych ward for a while, embarrassing my family with the cops cuffing me in front of all our neighbors, and why I'm still alive. The great thing about putting '' one foot in front of the other'' and moving forward one step at a time is unlike me avoiding the reality of my situation you wont be so complacent.

And another thing I have always had high expectations, so when I failed it hit me like a train at full speed hitting a suv....devastating. I think I have to find the balance between moving forward and understanding that somethings I can't accomplish easily and others I will never accomplish.

To say its easy is an understatement, to say it is impossible is an overstatement, I guess a good place to be is somewhere in the middle, at least for me.