RUSuffering - what you have described sound like him. He admits he is picking fights and says he can see it happening but can't stop it. He says such hurtful things at the time and then whe its over hates himself. I find it hard to forget the things he says about me and my children even though I know its not really him talking its his depression. I feel the hurt I am feeling may make me drift away from him and I don't want that. I am feeling hope for us hearing that your relationship has benefitted from counselling.