"Posting too much" - is that possible on this site?? Seriously, if posting helps you in ANY way, keep doing it!!! I've been reading your posts and I don't feel like I have any nuggets of wisdom unfortunately, but I can relate to your feelings and you're not alone. Depression is an invader into our souls but no matter how horrible you feel, your TRUE soul is still there even if you can't feel it. It's evident as you reach out to connect with people and try to feel validated and peaceful again. Keep reaching out, keep posting. It might feel futile, but it's a good thing to keep reaching out. Post away. We're reading and feeling your pain.