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Nina Simone · Sep 18, 2014, 01:23 AM

I finally took a bold step and severed almost all of my remaining family ties. Even though I had concerns I sucked it up and spent time with two of my cousins one of whom abused me growing up. We have had almost no contact for the past 20yrs. There were red flags going in and she did say things to me I didn't like but I took the high road and over looked it. My cousin who was suppose to be the buffer actually sniped at me and seemed to be in league with the other one. We had a conversation about the health problems of another family member and I said I didn't believe her and thought it was just a cover for her continued drug use. The meeting wasn't everything I hoped for but I thought it was at least a good start.

Three days later my cousin with the drug problem called to curse me out. Apparently the one I had tried to reconnect with called her to say we had met up and what I had said. In her anger she told me that almost my entire family has been having on going conversations about me for the past several months. What a horrible person I am. I need God in my life. How they have suppressed their feeling about me because they want to go their maker with a clean heart. They are sick to death of me and my selfishness and my disgusting attitude. I am going to die alone. It just went on and on.

I told her I was sick of all of them years ago! They had not been supportive of me or had any involvement with me for over 20yrs and I was cool maintaining the status quo. Then I told her where they could go and what to do when they got there. I blocked all of them from my social media feeds, home phone and cell phone.

I know I did the right thing but I feel like there has been a death. Things were bad before but I always thought as we all got older maybe things would get better. Now I know that will never happen. While they never acted the way family should I still feel like I've lost something and I'm having a hard time dealing with it.