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Old Sep 18, 2014, 06:17 AM
RedSun RedSun is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,668
No. She is lovely, and supportive, and intelligent, and beautiful.
But she is my t.
Partless, I noticed that you specified a best friend as someone you could call at the weekend if you're bored, tired or lonely, and just talk for hours and hours.
I wonder if this is the unrealistic relationship that T's can sometimes seem to hold up as the perfect friendship.
I could certainly call my best friends in those examples, or in crisis. However, I doubt that they have hours and hours for me, or I for them. Life, partners, children, cooking dinner, all get n the way.
Also, I love my friends absolutely, but I would draw the line at giving them hours and hours, listening to them being bored or low. The occasional crisis I would totally be there. But friendship is a two way street, give and take, respecting each others time and other needs and relationships. This is not the same in therapy, and I think it can raise false hopes and expectations about real life friendships.

People don't often want to hear about someone's problems or needs until the friendship is shown to be strong, and worth committing to and investing to on both sides.
For me, all my closest friendships built up over time, years really, of casual cups of tea, banter, walking dogs and feeding cats, pints at the pub

I guess I'm saying, don't be disillusioned by people's responses in the real world. Real friendships take time, and giving and listening on both sides. They involve sharing and caring, but also fun and laughter. This is not what we get from our t, but just as valuable when it works.
Thanks for this!
Myrto, Partless