It would mean you couldn't identify with wounded warriors. You are too old for that anyway.

It would also mean you wouldn't be prescribed medicine that could make you go crazy.

I'm not so sure why you assume you would have to take mood stabilizers. I've heard of bipolars who stabilise with diet and exercise.

The first thing you might consider is bringing your caffeine use down to two or three cups a day. It might hurt. Not as much as chewing up your liver though. You need your liver.

I'm serious, Johnny, do your own reading. You may be inducing a lot of your troubles with caffeine and possibly overtraining without attention to recovery. . Even if you have bipolar and not ptsd everything I've said about seeking the "natural" endogenous speedball still applies. Adrenaline junkies burn out and go to fat fast. And it hurts. Be forewarned.