I can empathize, Nina. There is a lot of addiction and other ******** in my family. I got sober eight years ago and tried for the first two years of sobriety to forge good relationships with my family but I just couldn't handle it anymore, being the only one ever doing the work, the only one being willing to meet anyone halfway (and usually being the one to go 100% of the way all the time if I wanted anything to do with them at all). So I told them all individually why I was backing off, told them not to call me, removed them from any online things (i.e. Facebook), and I got the same sort of reactions. But it was the best thing I did for myself. I now have them back in my life sort of - as much as a person can have barely-functioning alcoholic people in their lives. I have little to no contact with most of them. That's the way it has to be for me to stay sane and I stopped feeling guilty about it a long time ago.
My little sister died last week. My other sister, the middle sister, who is now also a couple of years sober (and the only other member of my family that I would consider myself as having a good relationship with), had to plan the funeral because my parents wouldn't step up and take responsibility. I don't really ever expect that to change.
I believe that, in this life, the most important thing is to take care of self first. Always self first. Only then can we figure out how to be with others, and choose healthy people to put in our lives. You have my support.