Except that the focus of that relationship is ME, and that is very very very very very important to me. Even tho it goes against my religious training, and my experience in my family. JP Sartres would agree with me, and fortunately t is a fan. Maybe im lucky that the rest of my life is so effed up, i have evidence that its not a luxury for me to do this. But thinking that way is weird - its evidence of a coverup. And a coverup is reason enough to go exploring, imo.