I guess, first, I would authorize/allow a bit more chaos in my life? And is it too late to drop out of one class (do you need 5 classes for "full time"/your loan money)? I would make small changes like not picking up the office trash/garbage so your daughter can knock it over again :-) Leave things as they are for right then.

It reminds me of my husband's and my fight over whether to replace the toilet paper when you use the last sheet or leave it empty and the next person changes it? I was taught that it was "polite" to others to replace it when you use the last sheet but my husband pointed out that one can't know who is going to use the bathroom next and if it is you, it can wait just as easily until you need it the next time and, if it is the other person, it should come out "even". Too, toilet paper and when it gets changed is NOT important! No matter what your mother taught you.

Drop some of the unimportant things? If no one is going to be in your office all day, what do you care what the trash is doing? If you are coming back after dropping daughter off at school, then you can pick it up then? Part of it is letting go of learned expectations? My stepmother decided the dishes had to be washed immediately after dinner (and on my nights, I had to do it right then) and I remember one night I had to go to the bathroom and my stepmother got mad and did the dishes, claiming I used going to the bathroom to get out of doing them (if that were so and she had waited, I still would have had to come out of the bathroom some time that evening? :-) All her set ways did was upset her and leave me with a bad memory?

Stay in bed for 1 minute after you wake thinking about what you would like for your day and doing a bit of stretching and waking up? 1 minute won't kill you? Your daughter is old enough, even with ODD to be responsible for brushing her hair, you can't brush her hair forever? How did it get that tangled? Do you all use a detangling shampoo or spray?

For time, I'm reminded of cars and speeding to get somewhere, etc. and how someone may get somewhere 5 minutes earlier than another family member who is driving normally, etc. There's not enough difference to go through all that stress? When I am worried about time and keep checking the car clock while I'm driving somewhere I remind myself that worry does not get me there any faster and I will literally get there when I get there whether "on time" or late? So I make myself relax. I am sure your relaxing will help your daughter relax more? She could be picking up your feelings of frustration and urgency?

See if you can learn to be more mindful and concentrate just one what you are doing and enjoy doing that? There's no such thing as multi-tasking, that's just doing things sequentially fast, you can only concentrate on one thing at a time and if you try to do more, something will not go right. Try to keep your thoughts on what you are doing and not worry about what you are not doing?

Why stop an hour earlier? Just give yourself 15 minutes. Stop at 9:45 because you want to do X for yourself? Look forward to that 15 minutes and gradually increase it by 15 minutes over time?