I couldn't go to A&E cos of dark suicidal feelings cos I wouldn't be taken seriously or treated well, with care..I'd get forced away. I don't feel I can go to professionals when I'm at my worst. I just have to trust myself and have some strength and courage still to carry on regardless of the challenge for me. Of course no one wants to suffer alone. But it can be really distressing when you try to get help and support but end up being worse off cos of negative responses. In the end you can only count on yourself. When I seeked professional help I was just told to do self help stuff and they didn't believe my circs to be severe.