I relate to you hanging on because you don't want to miss concerts. I was like that this summer with the Tour de France. It kept me going for about three months and afterwards too because I could see how my actions would destroy everyone else's happy memories of that time.

I have to keep finding reasons for carrying on and have been doing so for at least thirty years. I've just started CBT and the first thing the T wants to talk about each session is risk. I always tick the box about suicidal thoughts, nearly every day, for the last 2 weeks because that is how it is. I then get asked about specific plans, I do have a plan as to how, so then my T has to go through the routine of explaining my options should the feelings intensify. It seems an enormous waste of time to me because at the moment I'm resolved to hang on in there no matter how hard it gets, but if my resolve fails then no amount of risk management options will make any difference.

It is a really hard struggle and only you can know where your limits are. I hope that you can carry on finding reasons to hold on.