I had a couple of weeks where I thought I could see a ray of hope. I felt a little better. I guess I had some fun distractions. I went to a family reunion out in the country that I enjoyed. I also went to visit my son for his birthday. While my husband and I were visiting him we went to a football game. For a little while I was actually happy. I had forgotten what being happy felt like.

Then reality hit like a brick. Work was the usual hotbed of stress and controversy. Bosses and doctors complaining and griping. Nothing we do is ever good enough. Most of the griping is over trivial stuff and not patient related care. I am so sad and stressed. I got chewed out today and I will probably get chewed out tomorrow. I applied for 4 jobs and was turned down for all 4 positions. I am very discouraged now and my self-esteem has gone down to rock bottom. What is wrong with me? What have I done wrong? Have I offended God? Have I offended someone out there?