I find myself thinking about end of life,more exactly hoping,that I would not be alive in about 10-15 years,(while realizing i'll be only 50),or as soon as my kids are settled and would not acutely need me.I'm not suicidal though,never been ,at all,I can't afford to be that selfish and leave everyone depending on me now.It feels as if I'll be done with my duty by then and would get peace of mind after.Is it selfish idea too?