Thank you for answering TheOriginalMe.

I wouldn't say I ever feel amongst friends really but it's a kind thing to say.

I think my family would be fine for me to go, but I feel concerned for my parent's future. I don't want my parent to die alone and in poverty I want to go knowing they will be secure. I am very torn.

The thought of this going on and on is an awful thought though. My whole life I have never been happy but I always felt it was worth working through. Not for 3 years now though.

My life has been a waste of time. It's not worth it any more, that's a fact.

thank you again x