Hello skeezyks and thank you for your answer.
I think I feel ready now and my family have accepted it. I think long term I will be a great burden to them and so for all concerned it is better.
The reasons for not wanting this are very complicated.
I am supposed to start therapy soon, but I don't think they care much and I struggle to talk and so just ramble mostly. I feel it is about letting go of hurt and taking full responsibility for all I am (good and bad) and working on that, and I do try to do that on my own, and have brake throughs. Trouble is, even after that, life is there to brake you down and hurt you. I don't want that any more, as much as I may deserve it.
Maybe just ignore me. I know it's the right decision, just feel down about it all tonight.
Thank you again xx
__________________
“You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. In the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.”
― Max Ehrmann
|