Sorry you're having such a hard time. Please don't worry that people here will be offended because you feel shame for having bipolar. I'll bet most of us can relate to that. There is stigma around mental illness, that's just the truth. Your feelings are totally understandable.

You do need to take care of yourself, as bluekoi said. Are you also feeling bad about the idea of getting therapy? I'm thinking it would help you deal with your feelings about the diagnosis. Are you taking your medication now? For me, the right meds were life-changing.

I hope you find some comfort and answers here.