Quote:
Originally Posted by archipelago
In the process of doing therapy, I've learned about how to talk things through, even if difficult, and get to an understanding. It may be hard for various reasons, but the result tends to make it worth the effort.
When I have tried to do this outside therapy with people who have not been exposed to therapy or who are not open to this sort of thing, I've been very frustrated, sometimes upset, and usually disappointed. It just doesn't seem to work out that well. Sometimes I even regret trying because it makes things worse.
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I was going to give a long answer but suddenly realized I don't really understand the first paragraph. It would help if you could mention specific examples or elaborate a bit.
Because I can only think of two things: a rational discussion or debate with the purpose of clarifying a concept or view (which I'm sure happens in many other areas) or more like self-reflective kind of discussion, like when two therapy patients are having an emotional argument but are able to extract themselves from the heated debate and look at the triggers that got them going (free of judgment), using the debate as something positive and educational that helps them gain perspective and awareness and psychological growth. Which is certainly not how debates end in real life!