Hopelessness for me is the fear of failure and of time running out. I know for me I don't want to die, but I just want to be...nowhere I guess. To me nowhere is a place where I have no obligation or time limit. Maybe you want to just be nowhere too? It makes it harder that the things that I liked to do, I no longer feel like doing anymore...I remember they used to help though. Do you have things that you like to do?