I think somethings wrong with me. For one, I have a delayed emotional response. I'm crying now, I feel like I'm pushing my boyfriend away. I keep dong stupid things sometimes. And I try to be better, I just feel like there is something wrong with me. Like I'm realizing that I can be unwittingly selfish- yet I'm so selfless most of the time(I love to help others, I patiently help out around he apartment and pick up after my boyfriend while he's been working and going to school full time,, for example), I don't know where this comes from. It's like I literally just don't think of the consequences of my actions sometimes, really bizarre stuff.
I smoothed things over and apologized and he went to bed but here I a, crying, feeling like a piece of ****. One of the things he brought up was the time I as driving home, picking him p from work late a while back and I accidentally went thru a stop sign. Yes, it was wrong, but I didn't have the emotional response warranted for the discussion. I did get little sleep last night, but so did he. I was super hungry and had a bite to eat upon finishing the discussion.
Though I do feel like something is lacking in me.
I'm either emotionless, of overly emotional.
While Aunt Flo did just arrive, I don't really think that's the issue. I have mentioned to my bf and my close friend how in the past month I literally haven't felt any sort of anxiety or even feelings of fear towards any situation, whether real or fantasy (movies and the like). It's weird. I've always been an anxious person.
The last time I felt like this I was in college and I had a slight drug problem(which one would attribute such feelings, or lack there of to), but it's been years since I've touched the stuff. Ugh, I just feel terrible.