Thanks for your reassurance. I do journal and it makes me cry even more. I do have a fear of not seeing T. He has been such a part of my life in the last year I can't imagine not seeing him anymore. After that session I did go see my son in the detention center. They wouldn't even allow us to hug them. I had to watch him walk away back to his cell and it's because of me. When I left there I just had to let it go and it's been going all weekend.