My therapist is a family therapist, experienced working with children, so she's given me a lot of concrete day to day guidance and helped me brainstorm and rework our situation in a way that's been wonderfully helpful. She is dual-licensed with 20 years in practice. I was very fortunate to find her, given she has a lot of work both with parenting issues and PTSD. Her focus on my daughter's experience has been really really helpful. (We have discussed having my daughter treated separately or in family therapy as well, but agree this current course where my husband and I do the direct work with her is best.)

It's definitely complex and half the battle is me managing myself as my stress impacts her a lot too. (We have also consulted a couple times with her doctor and once with the school psychologist when needed, but like many kids w/ODD, she does better in certain areas at school, though we focus on helping her there too.)

The event this week was an ugly one, but atypical. We used to have many more of these high-intensity blowups, but between the therapy, the book, my husband's therapy (which also has some focus on his relationship with her and our family dynamic) and a concerted effort, the overall picture is much improved. Less blowups that resolve faster and are less intense. It's just not a quick fix situation: the work we're doing takes time. I'm focused on the now but I try to keep optimistic knowing that in 8 months, I'll have my degree, in a year, I hope, I'll have a 40 hour per week job instead of 60. I can't wait for that transformation.