Fear of attachment and rejection can make us do some pretty surprising things. When I was 1st starting out with my T, I was so scared of becoming attached to him that I would contemplate termination so that I could avoid rejection-- it would be on 'my terms.'

In regards to going into a tailspin after seeing your T hug another client-- I can completely understand. I think I would die if I saw my T even stand next to another client, let alone hug one. I have a very idealistic, occasionally distorted view of my T-- to the point in which I have convinced myself (although I know better rationally), that my T has no other clients. It is a very primitive defense, but right now it's keeping me safe, so I'm letting it work for me.

Your T sounds so understanding and willing to work with you. Stick with it.