I second the Skeezyks advice: it's not about *never* dealing with the dream, with the trauma of the sexual abuse it represents, it's about reaching the summit, having that relief, in a safe way. You can push and suffer more (and potentially deal with a lot of unnecessary and horrible backlash, some of which you may've already experienced with your breakdown), or work up to it and keep it more manageable. It is very much like yoga. You gradually increase your tolerance so you do get to those deeper stretches, but rather than the more painful route of forcing your body, you condition it, train it, so the result is the same but without the same anguish. I hear you that it's hard to be patient, but there is other work to be done if you choose it, equally valuable: stabilizing work, pre-trauma work.

Try to remember, life is the journey, not just the destination. I know it's hard.

Regarding your specific questions, no, I wouldn't be concerned about her ability. She's not worried about her, she's worried about you. Your use of the word 'force' is what indicates a concern to me- it's critical in trauma work to stay in control, to not feel forced. Aiming to suffer to pick up the pieces later is a concerning way to look at it. I don't think she'll be mad at you either. I think the only issue is maximizing your stability and well being, and that doing trauma work gradually makes maintaining both of those much easier, safer, better for you as a client.

It's your decision, of course. Do you feel prepared? Do you have good coping skills? Grounding skills? Distress tolerance skills? The pre-work? Do you feel in control- like this is your free choice and you are pretty ready?

That's what I'd judge by. Readiness and comfort level.

Of course it will never be fun or easy, but it can be manageable.