((((((( silver tree ))))))))

I'm sorry you're so down. I can relate to some (much?) of what you say...

I don't know you very well, but I'd like to know you better (maybe that shows I haven't totally given up..)

"Services aren't interested really"

So often in this country we are "taught" (forced? ) to be polite and humble about the appallingly inadequate level of care and respect we are given. It is NOT good enough!

I'm sorry for ranting here, it just makes me so sad. When the family of origin don't care and the "services" simply repeat the abuse and platitudes, why do we continue to "exist" when they are unable or unwilling to offer adequate help? Grr

My heart goes out to you and I hope you find a way to live (I wish that for me too..)

PS I was meaning about my family of origin not caring.

I worry at this point about doing more harm than good to papa bear (not my parent). I fight every day to be a "better person" not "crippled" by depression, anxiety etc..... But I fear I "fail" and I hate it when I see him in any pain

He doesn't want me to go...(I don't have the means anyway :-( and knowing me I'd botch it :-( )

I'll also be here tomorrow

(sorry I probably shouldn't have written all this :-(. Your post struck a chord. Please don't hate me, everybody who reads this :-(