Hi waterknob, I'm really sorry you're going through such a hard time
And aside from the depression/stress/hopelessness you're feeling right now I can understand how it must feel to have hope/even a kind of sense of contentment (??) and have that whisked away/evaporate.
But that ray of hope can still be there............just beyond the way you're feeling, but still there. It is possible to feel that way remember, and just try to hold onto that
And work.......the gripping and complaining well that is their problem, do not take ownership for something you can't do anything about. Sure ask them to work with you on finding solutions or resolving things but if they've no answers/or nothing to work with well you're doing the best you can do........and don't feel at fault for that!!!
And I'll tell you what.........you're more interested in patient care than trivial stuff........hold your head up!!!! Be proud of who you are, despite what anyone is saying!!!
Now, there's going to be some trivial stuff to wade through and from what you're saying maybe people are going to be unhappy with you (as well as others!!!) but try to separate you/the effects on you as much as you can from it.........call it minutes/hours on the clock, but it doesn't have to be your life, you do/can have a life outside of all of this. And when you get home...........maybe something to distract you.............maybe relaxation exercises.........maybe time to unwind..........maybe time to "debrief" with someone???
And......."What is wrong with me?"........there's nothing wrong with you
You're definitely dealing with really stressful situations at work, you're definitely acting "normally" in these effecting you (just maybe try to minimize that a little??), you're finding it hard to get another job (I know that can sometimes be really hard ) and maybe you're feeling depressed........but with some help/support with that............there's nothing wrong with you and there can still be that ray of hope.

Alison