Hi HealingTimes, I am sorry this is what you are having to deal with right now. You are right if you are in therapy and are getting deep and painful stuff to surface it is making you have thoughts of using. It will pass! Pull out everything you have used to calm yourself in the last 15 years and use it---like deep breathing, taking a warm bath, taking a walk, calling a friend please just anything besides using drugs. It is so not worth 15 years of sobriety! Remember one day at a time, and when we feel like that sometimes it's one minute at a time but you can do it! You have the tools use them. Also remember the things that are coming up are feelings of the past not of today! You are stronger now than you were when you had those feelings. PM me if you want to talk.