I try calming down... I try many things to relax just doesn't work. I don't need to be told that I shouldn't think this way, I know I shouldn't be this way, I'm asking for help on how I can not be this way, how I can heal myself. It's a disorder... I can't just be like okay hes fine and stop worrying, the thoughts are instant and won't go away no matter what I do. Unfortunately I can't sleep when I get like this, it would be nice to be able to so I can just forget everything for a moment. I've had it all my life, 18 now, so its been many years of thinking this way, it's not going to be easy to reverse that.