Hello... This is my first post here. I have a problem that's really been bothering me a lot and I have no clue how to solve it. I was hopeful that this forum, at the very least, could give me some words of encouragement... I'll try to start from the beginning and not ramble too much...

I have a girlfriend. I've been deeply in love with her ever since I met her. I would do anything for her. I love her with all of my heart. She's a really sweet girl and I can tell she loves me too... however, I think she's really unfair. Let me explain:

Throughout our relationship, she's told me a lot of lies. I probably shouldn't have asked her questions about her past, but I'm a really insecure guy and for some reason not knowing is even more torturous than finding out. She's lied to me a lot through our relationship. Our first Valentine's together, I found out that she was still friends on Facebook with a guy that used her for sex, a one night stand. She told me that there wasn't anything going on. But I found out she was commenting on all of his stuff and liking all of his pictures to the point of making his own girlfriend jealous and messaging her. She lied to me about this and I found out... I just don't understand how nothing can be going on or be felt for this person if she does this, you know? Well... it caused a big fight. And it seems like I continued to find out things about her. She was browsing my friend's Facebook pages, and I caught her and she told me how she thought they were attractive and there was no harm in looking. It ruined my friendships...

The guy that I mentioned in the start... well, he lifted weights and is a womanizer. I started lifting weights to be happy with myself, for some self-esteem. I felt it was a contest because as I got in better shape, my girlfriend admitted to being more sexually attracted to me. This wasn't a bad thing, but then... I pushed myself too hard and I ended up injuring my shoulders to the point where my weight lifting days are over... It really broke my heart.

I love this girl to death but I feel so unhappy, you know? Like... it's a double-edged sword. I can't live without this girl. You guys have no idea how much she means to me and I love her to death but at the same time, I just feel so inadequate to her and I'm not good enough. She's lied to me so much about guys, her past, my body... I feel like she lies about everything. She tells me it's so I don't think differently of her, but the more I find out, the more heartbreaking it is. Especially when some of the things she's revealed to me she's been lying about all this time. How she used to go online and engage in sexual activities with strangers and how she thought her ex-boyfriend was ugly and was attracted to his friends, how the guy she slept with was still in a relationship (he lied to her),all the guys she's flashed, etc... I don't know what to do or how to feel. Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to make her sound like an easy ***** or anything... She's a sweet girl, she was just lonely... but it still really hurts. other than me, the only other guy with that she's had sex with was that one guy (so she says...) But i seen all her cyber conversations... She was really into that stuff. It really bothers me.

I've never felt so self-conscious in my entire life. It's affected our love life and it's affected our relationship. I really don't want to lose this girl... but what can I do?

I've always been a really lonely guy. I gave up a lot of friends because I was afraid she'd browse them and it would ruin even more friendships... What do I do? How can I overcome this? Sorry to sound like an exaggerating, over dramatic 13 year old girl, but it means the world to me... I've been through a lot this year. I don't want to lose this girl but at the same time I don't want to stay with someone who I feel doesn't love me or find me attractive.. like I'm sort of just there because she was lonely and her first choices were taken. And I also am scared of being hurt from what else she would lie about. I don't want to be cheated on... It sucks...

Anyways... I'll wrap this up. I'm sorry for my whining but I just don't know where else to turn. Can someone offer me words of friendly support or advice? Thank you...