I just left a hospital in Baltimore where I was treated for being anorexic/bulimic and wanting to be with God for eternity. No , not suicidal but craving eternal love.

I was re-fed but not treated for the emotional aspect of the weight gain. It sucks as I'm sure you know. While not being nourished I had visions of God and super revelations of pure eternal love!

Of course my doctor thought/thinks I'm suicidal but I honestly can't understand that. Who doesn't want to be submersed in PURE LOVE FOREVER?

I finally lied to get out of the psych ward but I have to say I still feel the same way. (not manic!)

I'm sorry to trigger anyone that see's this as a trigger. But I'm so happy that I've had this experience that I can't even relate the elation this brings me. My history with ana/mia has been abysmal and now I just want to be forgiving and loving to everyone now.

I suppose I am totally missing something but for the life of me I don't care.

I have found the route to eternal freedom and love so screw it, I LOVE GOD!

Yeah this is totally self-serving but it's beautiful!

I hope you too can experience something similar w/o starving but for once I found something great in my f-ed up E.D.!

LOVE TO ALL!
Lauren Ann