Thank you all, again! This isn't someone I just met, but someone from my past (Side note - we were not romantically or sexually involved back then.) Everything all of you said about charm and such, all the truth. I like the one description about Heroin...how you feel great one second and completely miserable the next. This is exactly how it is. I find myself constantly looking for an answer to his behavior and he's not going to give me that. In reality, I already have my answer I suppose. I've never felt so crazy in my life. I was Married to the wrong person for a few years. Recently divorced. I found it easier to walk away from my Marriage than I do this situation. I also ever felt this "crazy" in my Marriage (and believe me, it wasn't a good relationship.) It's almost like his emotions and disorder is affecting the way I see myself. It's awful. I try and walk away and I keep going back (if even just a little.) I'd like to share the conversation we had yesterday...maybe it will give you all a little insight as to what I'm dealing with, and you can tell me what you think about it. Does this sound like someone with NPD to you?

Me: Dare I ask if you have plans this evening?
Him: I'm working till late, then I plan on passing out.
Me: lol Alright.
Him: work is hell right now.
Me: All the more reason to have a beer after work, but clearly sleep is more appealing.
Me: I'm really trying to be sympathetic but I've been up and at work since 6am. Don't act like an old man
Him: Um, I'm not.
Me: Old men go to bed early on a Friday night.
Him: Friday is not my Friday, it's just another day. Sunday is my Friday.
Me: I'm messing with ya, (insert his name here). However, this is my final attempt to sped time with you. Clearly you're a busy and preoccupied person.
Him: However...
Me: It's a shame, but such is life I suppose.
Me: And you can't ever say I didn't try. Am I wrong?
Him: Good talk.
Me: Dude, Seriously?
Him: Dude...Seriously.
Me: Please don't be an ***. You have to understand where I'm coming from.
Him: I do understand. I'm not being an ***.
Me: Seems like it.
Him: I'm not, I just can't respond in a way that's not going to precipitate a defensive reaction from you.
Me: I'm not trying to fight with you. I'm just confused by the things you say as opposed to the way you act.
Him: I'm just saying I understand.
Me: I can appreciate that, but can you please explain why you say one thing and act in a completely different way?
Him: Apparently, I have a problem with that. I've heard it my entire life. From Friends, Family etc.
Me: Yes you have a problem, it's called lack of real interest.
Him: That isn't true. Please don't make that assumption.
Me: I'd say it's a pretty educated assumption.
Him: I understand, but I do not agree with you and you shouldn't assume such things.
Me: I'm trying my best to understand you here, but you're not making it easy for me.
Him: I'm under a lot of stress at work.
Me: I'm sorry you're under a lot of stress. I told you that you can talk to me about it. I've told you that you can lean on me a little, you just don't seem to want to fully "let me in"
Him: I've heard that from a lot of folks, too. "Let me in"
Me: I'm not "a lot of folks" I'm just being myself and as genuine as I can be. We've had this same conversation so many times now. I don't understand why you won't just tell me you're not interested in this anymore. It's ok, really.
Him: Because I do not agree with you, so I'm not going to say that.
Me: your actions say it.

And it went on like that for a long time. It really went nowhere. That convo may not scream NPD at you, but that's just one of the conversations. There was another time when I told him I was done with him (so on and so on) and he was COMPLETELY able to turn the entire conversation around on me...to the point where I was almost apologizing...when I KNEW I wasn't wrong. I couldn't for the life of me figure out how he did that...but after I've read these comments and some of the articles...it makes some sense. He's always the victim. No matter what happens, he didn't do anything wrong and it's never him.

ughhh. And as you can see from that conversation...I'm still pushing at it. For some reason it feels impossible for me to just let it go. I don't know why and I've never been in this position. It's really starting to feel like an addiction. It's awful. There's a quote I came across recently...it's really very fitting. It says "Staying in a situation where you are being mistreated or disvalued isn't called being loyal, it's called breaking your own heart." So true. I just want to stop breaking my own heart. I'm so confused.