Hi Intrusivn!

I have the same problem as you do. I have a really good friend that I talk to on a daily basis and he helped me distinguish the self hurt and self hate talk as i never even knew I was doing it.
It is really difficult to do on your own, but I find that on days it is really bad, I keep myself busy with anything that does not allow me to think. On good days I try to find the source of the self hate. "you are worthless" - then I ask myself why? And I start identifying possible reasons for this or find positives to cancel it out. But it is very difficult to do, and takes some practice and a lot of time. I also started a depression journal as it was suggested that it is easier to control thoughts when writing them down. It also helps to slow my mind down as it tends to race around.

Hope this helps you! Good luck