Hi thisyearslove, welcome to PC! Nobody here hates you. I'm sorry you're going through so much. Some of what you describe sounds like Schizophrenia, especially feeling like bugs are crawling all over you and seeing them on your walls, plus all the paranoia. Of course I'm not a doctor and can't diagnose you, I'm just telling you what it reminds me of. Are you seeing a Therapist and/or Psychiatrist? You may want to consider asking your parents to take you to one, they really can help. Keep posting, this community is very supportive.

-Take care,