When I do bottle them up, I end up wondering if I'm bottling anything up at all because it feels like everything is fine. I'm guessing it's because I keep it so deep inside myself that it's locked. Sometimes, it's even difficult to draw out this emotion anymore so sometimes I wonder if I'm just imagining all this negativity. I get a bit more emotional every few weeks, but nothing explosive. But when I do manage to let it out, it's just so painful that I wonder why I thought it was just imagination in the first place. The reason I supposedly mask it in the first place is just so that I can hide from people.

Is it all just my imagination?