Some days I just want to hide my head under the covers and never come out of hiding..... Today is one of those days.
I had a very busy week. I try and keep myself distracted and busy so I don't have time to think. I am just tired of trying, tired of living (no I'm not thinking of doing anything stupid), I am tired of pretending

Sometimes I wonder if others can see through the mess that is me. Through the mask I put on each day to face the world..? if they only knew how exhausting it was to pretend everything was alright.

For once in my life I want someone to take care of me. To appreciate me for just being me! Not for what they want me to be, or what I can do for them or give them or help them with!

I'm tired of taking one step forward and two steps back. I am tired of pretending nothing bad happened to me. I am tired of being the one who everyone in my family comes to to fix things. For once in my life I Just want to fall apart, and let someone else take care of things

I want to be able to trust again. I want to know true love. I want to be accepted for who I am.... I am just tired

But I don't have time to stay in bed.. So once again, it is time to put on that mask let the world think I have my life put together and pretend to be someone other than I am!
if only they knew the scared little girl I really am looking at them through the mask of a confident women

I'm tired of pretending....I'm tired of being me. I hate myself