Thank you both for your replies. I was aware of the transference concept going into therapy and I knew it would be something I would have to grapple with eventually. In my previous therapy it wasn't as much of an issue because there was a significant age difference and we did not have that much in common. With this new therapist, we are only 9 years apart and I just was not expecting to have so much in common with her. It's like if I had met her anywhere else but therapy we would have absolutely hit it off. Then again I'm pretty shy, so we probably wouldn't have. I guess its ironic that therapy is the only reason I know her and feel as close to her as I do, and its also the reason I may never have anymore of a relationship with her. I'm just scared that because our relationship started in therapy that it will always be seen as that to her. If that's the only way I can see her I hope I never get better.

Note: when I say friendship I don't mean trying to communicate with her nonstop. The last thing I want to be is a bother. I basically just want the option to get together and talk every now and then in a less professional setting and more of a give and take kind of relationship. She has already indulged quite a bit of information to me about her personal life. For example her husband and I both play guitar and we also share the same musical interests, which leads me to believe that there could be a friendship there as well. The whole situation is just such an emotional rollercoaster. Its very exhausting to go through week after week, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. My liver would probably disagree but right now its the only way I feel that I can cope with this.

I know this is something that probably needs to be addressed with her in therapy, especially since I'm trying to deal with it at home in very unhealthy ways. I'm just terrified of her response, and then things will be awkward between us. Any advice on how to navigate this without leaving myself completely vulnerable?

Again, I have rambled on. I just found this forum so everything that I have been holding inside for over a year is making its way to the surface.