If he has depression or any other mental illness, that doesn't excuse any of his behavior. At all.
He's being ableist. He is abusive and manipulative.
Just from reading your quotes of him saying that it's all your fault, that he needs it as evidence "to show people what you're like" ... This definitely sounds like he's doing this on purpose and whether or not he's depressed, it needs to stop.

If you aren't doing anything abusive to make him want to record you, he's infringing upon your rights. He's crossing your boundaries, and that is abusive. He shifts the blame onto you, and that is abusive. He says you aren't allowed to be angry, that's abusive.

You have the right to feel however you do about this, okay? It is not your fault.

You deserve so much better, whether it's from him if you want to stay together, or from someone else.

I hope you are doing okay! Do you have a therapist you can call? It sounds like he's definitely making you feel unsafe, and you have every right in the world to take a break, ask for help from a therapist, break up, or whatever. Your choice, opinion, and safety is what matters the most.