I agree with what Bill3 says.

I'd also like to add, your pattern of drinking, your reasons for drinking, planning how to get alcohol, the impacts it is having on your life and the fact that you are making plans to try to control it are all very strong indicators that you have a drinking problem.

Not that you will develop one, you already have one.

I say this both as an almost 4 year sober person who had a dreadful problem with alcohol, addiction and behaviours similar.....but also having worked in the addictions field with clients.

You know this Growli, I see that you want to change, I hope that not only can you find a T to talk over your psychological challenges, but also are you able to find an addictions counsellor who can help you now? Now before this develops in to an even more difficult addiction to change.

It is great you will try to reduce to only the weekend, how about reducing how much you drink too?

Take good care Growli, and please, get some support with this.