Oh Sadmum,

Your post touched a raw spot inside of me. I had an uncle who played games with us (also around age 3) that only later in life I realized was sexual abuse. He, too, purchased gifts as a way to encourage compliance. This was reprehensible behavior, as we were very poor and badly wanted the presents as any child would. My grandmother was emotionally and physically abusive toward me and would purchase treats for my sisters and leave me out. Oh, it's so hard to have a strong sense of self when we are carrying these bags around. But the hardest part is seeing the effect in our own children when we worked so hard to stop the cycle. I have heard that it take 3 generations. So, at least we are beginning to put an end to the cycle of abuse by dealing with our issues.

Take good care.