Quote:
Originally Posted by IrisBloom
Skies, that was well said. You are right that the problem is some parents use their kids as extensions of themselves. I'm thinking perhaps it's a part of being a narcissistic parent. I can't imagine being ashamed or disappointed in any of my kids for any reason.
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Well I think there are 2 different things going on here.
It's seems to be within the normal range of emotions [of a healthy person] to be disappointed with those we love. If my husband were to have an affair, i'd say I might be disappointed in him. If one of my children tried heroin, i'd say I might be disappointed in him for doing so.
Caring and loving and accepting and valuing vs. being disappointed in someone aren't mutually exclusive.
I think what Yearning is talking about is something else. That's what I was trying to articulate. I just wanted to clarify because I don't think being disappointed in someone is an unhealthy emotional state in itself.
Maybe the difference is temporary vs permanent, or maybe I just can't find the right word to articulate?