I don't know stopdog, I can see how your T was just trying to help. I think she asks you about children, or your dog, because she wants you to be able to connect with the pain you feel inside somehow. Sometimes seeing someone else go through something painful can help us connect to that same pain we have inside ourselves. It can also help us realize that we have many tender feeling about that hurt part of ourselves.

I expect, however, that you reject this invited perspective because it is overwhelming for you to experience that pain, or to connect with those protective feelings that you have toward that hurt part of yourself. I think that is very normal, and perhaps your therapist does not realize that this is difficult for you. I think you might be better helped by someone who can help you to simply understand and accept that there is something very painful going on inside you.

I also wonder if it is difficult for you to accept this hurt part of yourself because you are very critical of anything in yourself that you perceive as weakness. After I was sexually assaulted five years ago I had a very hard time accepting that I needed to leave school. I was very angry at myself for not being able to simply say,"what's the big deal, you really shouldn't let some messed up guy hurt you who can't even figure out how to respect basic human boundaries." I felt like such an idiot for allowing someone like that to effect me. It has taken me a long time to accept the fact that I was hurt in a very deep way by this person, and to see that it is not a failure on my part if I admit that I was hurt my him. I had the reaction I had, and that's ok. In fact I reacted very normally. I cannot expect myself to simply be invincible when something like that happens, I have to acknowledge the wounded part of myself, and that is truly the best thing I can do for myself--it is the only way I can help myself or heal from what happened. Learning to simply say "it hurt," is one of the best things you can do for yourself.