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Old Sep 20, 2014, 11:05 PM
SnakeCharmer SnakeCharmer is offline
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Member Since: May 2014
Location: United States
Posts: 906
Okay, I'm making some assumptions here -- when you talk about another person, you mean a single person you're seeing, not random hook-ups, right, or a series of people?

Anyway, back when sex therapy was first getting talked about this was apparently a fairly common situation because women's magazines and Playboy featured stories about what to do if one or the other partner wasn't feeling it.

First thing they recommended was to keep your clothes on and all hands above the waist and off the chest. Then have some good old make-out sessions, with lots of kisses and hugs and caresses that might go on for rather a long time, with a promise to each other not to go further than passionate kissing.

Talk to each other about what feels good and what maybe doesn't feel so good. Take turns showing each other what kinds of kisses and touch and caresses feel the best.

The idea was to get the couple to communicate without embarrassment about what each one liked the best, what was a turn on and what was a turn off.

The instructions said no petting below the waist and no intercourse or oral sex. But, people being people, one thing would often lead to another and the problem would be solved. as long as both parties cooperated.

Definitely, there wasn't supposed to be any just going along with it to get it over kind of thing.

It might be worth a try. If you're with one person, you might be able to figure out how to pleasure each other and talk about it by first focusing on kissing. And that would mean saying something like, "Honey, I'm just not feeling it so let's try this and see if it works." That, in itself, can tell you a lot about your budding relationship. If the other person gets all offended it can tell you a lot.

If you can climax on your own, it means your parts are working. If you can't feel anything with your partner it may mean it's the wrong person for you or you just need some practice sessions and learning how to communicate what feels good, what kind of touch and pressure and where and how. Communicating about kisses is a good place to start.

I wish you well!
Thanks for this!
CantExplain