Yes, it's just one person, however I'm not sure if we're officially a couple or not. I suppose that's bothering me, but I don't feel right bringing it up. I don't know if there's an average or appropriate amount of time to wait to bring it up, nor do I know how to bring it up without sounding clingy or something.

Is it too late to try that if we've already touched each other/done oral sex? I was thinking of asking him to do that anyway since I feel a lot of pressure (not from him) to orgasm and it's just too frustrating right now. It's also a bit frustrating that he can get off (sometimes even multiple times) without much if any effort on my part.

I'd rather just kiss him anyway…I didn't have any pressure to feel anything and I actually could feel some things. I just don't know how we'd get past that…he'd have to lead because I literally can't. It's hard to explain, but because of anxiety and my past (I'm guessing), I find that I can't say or do what I to do in sexual situations or even just passionate kissing. He frequently has to show me what to do with my hands, otherwise I probably wouldn't do anything with them. It also sort of bothers me that we went past just kissing when we had been drinking. I mean, I know I agreed to it, but every other time a guy has violated my boundaries/pushed into a sexual situation, we had both been drinking.

I think he would understand if I explained it to him, but I'm not sure what to say or how much to say. I really would like to tell him in detail, but that seems unfair to him. On the other hand, it's relevant in order to prevent him from accidentally triggering me. I also don't know if I feel like I completely trust him yet (stemming from the whole a guy's going to hurt you at some point thing) nor do I feel comfortable with physical stuff at all. I mean, he realizes this, but I'm not sure he quite realizes the extent.

Like I said earlier, I'd rather just focus on kissing because I haven't figured out exactly what I'm supposed to do yet in that situation. I just don't know the best approach to asking him to back off a little bit and explaining why. I just feel like if I'm going to ask someone to forego sexual touch, I should have a pretty good reason and fully explain it. That and is it too much to ask for confirmation that we're a couple? Or is that something that's just assumed? I've never been in a relationship before...