Hi thisyearslove, welcome to pc
I can relate to your feelings and no one will hate you for posting this or any future posts. I have anxiety and depression as well, though my anxiety isn't as bad as yours but my depression is worse. It kind of balances out I guess.

You could try therapy because talking it out with a professional helps. Also you can try posting or going to the chat rooms. For you memory, have you considered keeping a journal of sorts or writing little notes to help jog your memory from time to time? Or if something is really important, write it down right away to ensure that you won't forget?

Don't worry about being selfish! I think that talking about yourself is not selfish, nor is it attention seeking. It's pretty much a necessity; it's even unhealthy to keep it all inside! Everyone is special in their own way and so are you.

Personally, I found that posting on here helped lots. People here are really supportive and caring. They've been through similar situations and we all understand the difficulties each of us go through.

Best wishes and good luck