Back to T in the morning.
I sent T a quick email whilst I was in Paris. But the lingering fear in my mind is, thst my protesting at what I thought was T's forgetting me will have made her dislike me.
Oh I know, this only my fantasy. But I will tell her this.
I also noticed more then normal whilst away, how I struggle with allowing anyone to do anything for me, ie, taxi drivers, waiters etc. I just feel so dam uncomfortable and feel a strong urge to be pleasing and to please them.
Oi, oi, oi, I know, sounds insane.
Obviously, my mother sent this unconscious message as she had to do things for me before I was able, 'come here, go away, message that leads to living a life of double binds.
Wish I could just be over it.
Heyho.