I felt sick physically for a while and I got very irritable. so sometimes I was surprised what kind of things made me angry. there I started thinking it wasn't normal. I first thought I have depression when I realized I don't care about anything anymore. I remember sitting at my mother's birthday dinner which would usually be a happy event. and I was staring at my empty plate all the time because I didn't care about food. and my mother was concerned and confused and I didn't care about that either. so I thought this must be wrong.