Quote:
Originally Posted by HazelGirl
It takes time. I totally understand.
Are these things you're talking to her about?
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Like I said I really do try....But when we're sitting there in the flesh i think I must be speaking from a different part of my brain that won't let the whole picture out. It sucks b/c I didn't have this problem nearly as much with my temp T who I didn't have any feelings for.
I talked with that T about it at least... I was like, I don't want it to feel like I'm going back to her only to see her you know? And she said that if I wanted to keep talking to her about it she'd be there. And i was like, ahhh, but I don't want a therapist just to talk about my other therapist with either ;_;
I feel like I'm in middle school. But it's mostly one sided!! It's soooo frustrating.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aloneandafraid
I am feeling exactly the same. I think about her all the time and I am not making any progress. In fact, I am in a far worse place now than this time last year I think. I am in a lot of pain and turmoil regarding the maternal feelings and needs and I know I can't have what I need. She has acknowledged this and said that she can't be the person (mother) i so desperately need but that she wants to support me. But her not responding to texts, ending bang on time, no touch etc just seems to make this so much worse and highlights my needs for which I feel very ashamed.
I text her last night in a moment of desperation. I was really desperate and in a very very bad place. She has responded this morning with "see you next week" what is the point?
How can I think less about her and how can I get over her/move on?
Should I quit?
I'm sorry - I don't mean to hijack your thread,I just relate so much to this.
I am sorry you are struggling and hurting too. This is so raw and painful.
I'm sorry.
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Ugh, that is a horrible feeling!! I'm so sorry you're experiencing that. I totally know what you mean and I'm happy you posted that, i feel a little less alone and selfish.
The thing that gets me is, I was reading an article on limerance the other day. And i read this description of how people in limerance look for these little cues that their feelings are recoprocated, and hanging onto hope like that, their feelings are kept from dying down. They stay stuck in their obsession that is probably never leading to anything....
I feel like this strict environment is maintaining some balance that is keeping these feelings alive... cause I SO do that you know? I read into every little thing she says to try to maintain this belief that she feels the same. I don't think she means anything by it but I interpret things that way.
Like when she acknowledges our connection, or sounds like she knows what I mean when I say therapy is intense, I go, maybe she feels this too... or when she says she thinks about me during the week. Or that it's good to hear my voice.
I just want to blurt out how bad I've really got it but it feels like almost killing something in me!! It's so scary.
And, yes, in the meantime I am getting far less healthy than I was even just two weeks ago. I was doing so good, was so proud of myself! Now I can barely make it thru a single night....
I really have to wonder if that can be productive. I really want to feel that with someone who can reciprocate fully, but T is never going to be that person.
I might try to literally tell her all this and ask if she thinks i should quit...
So anyway I don't have the right answer but I'm in the sameish place... thanks so much for sharing your feelings.
It means a lot to me to hear from everyone.