I've been doing good the past few days, managed to cook something big enough to have leftovers, with help from a friend, and eating 2 meals a day. But I don't think it's going to last. The only reason I'm managing this is because my T threatened to hospitalize me (I think the only reason he hasn't yet is because he doesn't think a hospital environment would be very good for me and wants it to be a very last resort).

I'm terrified of going to the hospital, so I'm caving to all of his ultimatums, reaching out, keeping him updated about my meals. But I can already feel myself slipping, I'm running on panic and fear not a desire/ability to take care of myself properly and I can only sustain that for so long.

I told him last week I need a new, better motivator to eat than fear, and so we're working on it slowly, but I'm not sure...