My life is so pathetic that I feel obsessed with and addicted to my once weekly therapy, in which I can barely talk. And now I'm in love with my therapist who couldn't even care enough to show up to our sessions on time or file my insurance. I'm looking for suggestions on how to stop now. All I look forward to is another 50 minutes of "talk" a week, but what I need is someone real. Once again I feel not suicidal but like id literally rather be dead than alive. This is no way to live. In real life no one cares about me, what is there to continue on for? Trying to pay someone to love me just makes it worse.