I'm 64 years old, and stopped pot, alcohol, and cigs two or three years ago. When I was age 20+, did mushrooms once, and speed or acid maybe three times. I personally believe you are screwing up big time, and you might fall deeper into it. I can hear you dwelling on it all, and like a devil has its nails in your flesh. You stopped your medicines? WHY? And these recreational drugs can mess up what you medications are intended for, and who knows what is actually happening to your brain. Then your job? Keep tossing the dice, and I believe you will fall into darkness over something you knew was not a good idea. You are going after that short time high, and risking long term sorrow.